First, Vanessa Redgrave guest starred in a couple of episodes, and now Jill Clayburgh! Boy, our favorite of all the Tuesday nights at 10, “reality-based” cable dramas about two plastic surgeons operating out of Miami’s South Beach is really pulling out the big guns this season. Wait, there’s only one show Tuesdays at 10 about plastic surgery… and there’s only one Jill Clayburgh!

If the name didn’t ring a bell, her face should have. She’s enjoyed a long, successful career, appearing most recently on shows such as “The Practice” and “Ally McBeal.” How good is she? Well, they don’t let just anyone host “Saturday Night Live,” especially when the musical guest is Eddie Money!

Guess I’m saying she makes it look easy… so easy you might think you could do it. Well, as someone who lives and works in LA, my advice to you is, don’t quit your day job. Seriously, you think you’ve got IT? Think you’re good enough to be nominated for an Oscar®? Ms. Clayburgh has received two Academy Award® nominations for Best Actress (An Unmarried Woman, Starting Over). And, if that weren’t enough, she’s married to Tony® award-winning playwright and screenwriter, David Rabe. So, you can only imagine how fulfilling it must have been to finally apply all of that incredible creative talent and years of experience to a show where characters say such finely crafted dialogue as, “I’m putting pussy lips back on the schedule!” Anyway… I’m going to call this episode…

AND THE EMMY® FOR OUTSTANDING GUEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES GOES TO (I KNOW, LONG TITLE… AND THIS ISN’T HELPING)…

… Jill Clayburgh for her role as Bobbi Broderick in Nip/Tuck. Bet on it, babe. By the way, as the once funny Dennis Miller was apt to say, I don’t want to get off on a rant here, but… to the cha-chas over at the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences, how about some new Emmy® categories… the sort that Nip/Tuck could surely compete and win in?

• Best Ass Acting During a Simulated Sex Scene, Actor
• Totally Unexpected Yet Somehow Completely Believable Use of the Phrase, “pussy lips”
• Best Television Series, Teen Age Boy’s Fantasy

Of course, that’s just my opinion; I could be wrong.

Anyway… Bobbi Broderick. She’s an empty nester, hoping to fill her time working at Saks. Of course, the mother of two can’t possibly compete with the tight-bodied twenty-somethings applying for the same job… at least, in her opinion. So, she wants a little lipo. Who doesn’t? It’s the most popular cosmetic medical procedure in the country. Dr. McNamara tells her that in his professional opinion she looks great for her age (and she does). Really? Well, Saks doesn’t hire, “great for your age.” Touché. Then, they did it, right there on the desk, in front of the giant aquarium. No, they didn’t, c’mon! Dr. Troy would have.

Dr. McNamara, though, simply hands her some papers to review and sign. She has neither the time nor the desire to review anything. Her interview is in just a few weeks, and besides, she doesn’t want to read something that might scare her. So, she signs away, refusing to read anything about preparing for liposuction surgery or what to expect when recovering from liposuction. Wouldn’t happen. A plastic surgeon will always take the time to explain a procedure to you. Now, you don’t have to listen to what he or she has to say, because hey, it’s elective surgery. You don’t want to listen… in fact, if you don’t want to, you can… leave.

Well, as usual, Sean lets the patient push him around, failing to explain a single thing. She has the procedure, and of course, when she sees the bruising and swelling that’s to be expected in the first few weeks following surgery, she freakin’ loses it to say the very least. And so begins her personal crusade to destroy McNamara/Troy. Get in line. Want to know the truth about lipo? Check out these liposuction videos.

So what else happened this week? Well, Sean and Julia’s son, Matt, slept with Ava (Famke Janssen), the “life coach” they hired to get his grades up. Obviously she succeeded in raising more than just his marks… she’s wickedly good at multitasking. Oh, and McNamara/Troy’s lesbian anesthesiologist, Liz, wants to have a baby. One problem… she’s having a difficult time finding a sperm donor. “Dr. Troy. Calling Dr. Troy. Please report to the broom closet.” Of course, he’ll help. After all, as he so eloquently says, “It’s you or the toilet.”

See you next time.

Charlie Sheridan

Medical Editor and Consultant