Bad news for Sean and Christian – Bobbi Broderick, the woman who vowed to destroy McNamara/Troy after she refused to review papers explaining what to expect when recovering from liposuction – yeah, she’s back and making life difficult for the two plastic surgeons. Not only is she scheduling bogus consultations and sending the doctors rotting meat, but she even convinced a patient – Mrs. Deckland – to cancel her facelift, denying you the home viewer of some over-the-top Hollywood make-up and special effects magic. Not to worry. You can always watch real videos of plastic surgery here. Ms. Broderick, though, is nothing, compared to…

THE CARVER

Uh, huh… yeah, that’s right. You sure you locked the doors? And you thought this was all just fun and games. By the way, I forgot to mention it, but obviously that’s what I’m calling this episode… The Carver. How about the windows? You lock them? I wonder what the process was like over at FX when the writers were brainstorming names for… The Carver… hmmm…

“How about the Ripper. The Ripper? Yeah, that’s real original. Better than The Dicer. Ooooohhh. Come on, get serious. I still think we ought to go with The Etcher… you know, like he’s a demented artist or something. I like it. You think it’s better than The Gasher? Yes! The Etcher? Yeah, okay… hold up, no… too good. Let’s save it for Season 3. You really think we’re gonna get renewed? I wish they’d just let us know; I hear there’s an opening over at, ‘According to Jim.’ Wait, wait… The Debosser. Is it deboss or emboss? I get the two mixed up. The Mutilator. No, no… The Chafer. What?! The Chafer? Are you kidding? Okay, no more pot until we come up with a name. There aren’t anymore good names. The Shredder? Nevermind. You’re telling me The Ripper is the only good name for a serial rapist who cuts his victims with a scalpel… wait, The Cutter? No, The Irritator? There’s already an Irritator. His name’s Jay Leno. Nice. The Pruner. I’ll prune you. The Gasher. You already said that and I already said, no! The Scalpeler. Oh, yeah, pass that bong this way, because I got it. You ready? Okay, here it is… wait, I forgot it. Oh, yeah… The Sever-er. He doesn’t sever. He doesn’t? No, he carves. We’re going to be here all night. Screw it. The Screwer-er? Hey, what about The Carver? You know what? Fine. Done. I said The Carver like two hours ago. No, you didn’t, The Carver was mine. Hey, we’re a team; we all came up with it. So, The Carver it is. Run it by legal.”

Anyway, let’s get serious… for real.

Naomi Gaines is a cover model… and a victim of The Carver. Now, she’s a patient of McNamara/Troy. And you know what? I joke a lot in these blogs, but thank goodness there are plastic surgeons who have the artistry, technical expertise and true caring to help put back together the looks and the lives of victims of violence, whether that be of crime, accident or war. In this episode, Sean and Christian help reconstruct her face and repair nerve damage, the combination of which allows Ms. Gaines the simple pleasure of smiling again, literally. The music during her montage of cosmetic surgery videos was “Skin Trade” by Duran (so nice they named ‘em twice) Duran. Remember me, Simon? Email me.

And what about Ms. Broderick? Well, after she sees how Dr. Troy and Dr. McNamara are able to help Ms. Gaines, she realizes that she is the one who was at fault for the results of her lipo. She even admits that she did indeed read the papers the practice provided her with as to what to avoid during recovery… she just ignored every single one of them.

So, what else happened this week? Matt found out Christian is his father (viewers figured it out, I’m sure, in the pilot episode). And in other news, investigative reporter, Andrea Hall, was planning on doing an exposé on McNamara/Troy over the whole Bobbi Broderick lipo story… that is until Christian banged her into next week’s news cycle. Film at eleven. “Gave her four orgasms,” he bragged to Sean. He should brag. Good for him. Better for Ms. Hall.

See you next time.

Charlie Sheridan

Medical Editor and Consultant